


The Secret

by DYlogger



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU- Comicverse
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, hinted pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-17
Updated: 2010-10-17
Packaged: 2017-10-12 18:02:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/127584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DYlogger/pseuds/DYlogger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"If I wasn't straight, I'd kiss you."</i>  Bernard knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a bunny exercise. Not romance. Horrible innuendoes, foreshadowing of what happens in comics.

“Timothy Drake,” declared Bernard Dowd, slinging an arm around his friend, “If I wasn’t straight, I’d kiss you right now.”

“What?”

“Well, Nightwing’s been dubbed as the hottest piece of ass in the superhero community. I’d say you inherited his good looks.  And I'd get the bragging rights of having kissed the brother of Nightwing."

“WHAT??"

“I said, ‘I’d say you in-'”

“I heard you, Bernard. I just don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tim tried to wriggle out of his friend’s grip and failed. Well, he could have done so, but not without proving Bernard right in his theory.

“Oh, I think you do, _Boy Wonder_.”

“As if by command, a speeding motorcycle pulled up on Tim’s driveway. A chiselled man stepped off the bike and pulled off his helmet, swishing his hair-

“Stop that, Dick.”

“Jeez, let me have my moment, will you Tim?” Dick tried to sling an arm around his little brother’s shoulders, saw Bernard’s arm already there, and cuffed Tim on the head instead. He stuck his hand out to Bernard. “Hey. I’m Dick.”

“Dick, Bernard Dowd. Bernard, my brother Dick. Don’t gang up on me.”

“I think you’re a little late there, Drake.” He shook Dick’s hand. “So you must be the infamous protector of Blüdhaven, Dick Drake.”

“Actually, it’s Grayson. And do you always refer to people by both their first and last names?”

“Last names,” piped up Tim.

“Well, Dowd, I see you’ve figured out the Secret.”

“Dick!”

“What? I didn’t expect you to make dumb friends! Besides, Clancy and Amy figured it out. And your fallout is turning out a lot nicer than mine did!”

“See? Your brother admits it.”

“And this was your clever way of telling me you knew,” said Tim dryly, “by telling me you’d make out with me if you weren’t straight.”

“No, I’d still make out with you,” Bernard leered suggestively, “I know you’re gay, too. I mean, why else would you invent some imaginary girlfriend? And wear tights?”

“Steph exists. And Dick wore-”

“Uh, yeah,” interrupted Dick, not wanting Bernard to know about his… unusual clothing habits for some unknown reason.

“Sure she does.”

“Well,” said Dick, “I came here to keep Timmy company, but I see he’s already in good hands. Make sure Tim doesn’t go emo, Bernard,” Dick walked off cheerfully, throwing a wink at Bernard.

“So when do I get to meet this Steph, if you and your brother insist she exists?”

“I could have her over now.”

Bernard smirked, as the son of the Mighty Endowded did not grin. He couldn’t wait.


End file.
